A mirror

 I don't know where my life is taking me...From the days when we used to refer to books, time has taken me to a stage where "googling" gives me answers. I just now found out how addicted I have become to internet when I opened my browser and typed "What should I do when I feel bored?"! This actually did give me a shock when I read it myself after typing...

Life has always played different games with me.Some were easy for me but some gave me trouble.I am blessed with a group of well wishers who gave me strength to keeping moving in life.This not only helped me in molding myself but also helped to to see things in a better perspective.

In some stage in your life,you will feel that you are no more the actual you whom you know well.Some times I look into myself and find some stranger there...Sometimes I feel,I am not the same "me" anymore! But why is all these?How did I change? I don't have an answer.You only understand that change in you when someone tells you about the "new you" and then you stop for a moment and look back.

One worst thing that is happening in my life is that I know one of my dearest ones need me badly but I can't be of any help because of few other reasons.It kills you when you find your dearest one struggling hard right in front of you but you stand looking at it,helpless...! It is really hard and one of the cruel face of life.I don't complain,nor do I want to blame on my fate.I like to believe that this is just another game to check my level.I hope to pass this level because I don't want to fail,fail and keep failing...I want to win and want to stand with my heads high and shout to the world "I won"!

A missing...

Have you ever missed someone so badly? Funny question right?Yeah...I know!

Everyone would have atlest missed someone or the other so close to them atleast once in their lives.Even I have felt it many times...But this time,to be very frank,is little more deeper...Yes..I miss someone so badly!

Many times have I asked myself if physical presence do matter in relationships.Finally I found out that it does matter a lot! For a moment in my life,I felt technology is still not developed enough  to bring people together...It can never be because no technology can replace a pat at your shoulder or a revealing hug from a dear one.

Here,in this blog,I just want to tell you just one thing..."I miss you a lot...and I find it hard to stand this pain.Sometimes I enjoy this but now it has become terribly worse and I don't want to get used to this pain."

The way back home - Part 2

During my days at home,what irritates me the most is the list of functions to attend.Once in a while,when I reach my home,what I expect to get is some home made food and some peaceful sleep and some time with family.

This time,the list was a little hectic.The moment I stepped in,mom asked me to get ready.There was a wedding reception to attend.What I wanted badly was a long shower and a peaceful sleep.I felt angry when I was denied that in first place.There was no scope of argument there and so after taking a shower,got ready to go.

There in the auditorium,bride and groom was standing and posing for photographs.The photographer clap his hands once and everyone in the stage will line up for the photo. 

 The way back home - Part 1

I stepped out of the train,it was drizzling.I crossed the rails and stepped into the platform.No one was there waiting for me.I opened my umbrella and started walking.The train slowly started moving.

It is always amazing to walk in the rain.But with two bags in my shoulder,I was not in a mental state to enjoy the rain or to enjoy anything at all.My mind was somewhere else...somewhere not too far,but not too close.I stopped caring about it altogether because I know,even if I try hard,my mind is not going to listen.Leaving it as it is was the only option I had at that point of time.

I was missing something.Something that was with me for past few weeks.It was the ability to smile even when you know you are going to be killed the next moment - the power to realize the reality and accept it without worrying about what is going to happen next.You wont get this power or ability or whatever you may like it to be called so easily.It will come to you through experiences.Yes..i was missing that experience!The experience that holded me and pulled me back to my life,that brought a smile on my face,that made me forget about unhappy moments...

Before reaching home,I was welcomed by our neighbour,with a smile.As usual,I myself was the topic.This time it was a positive comment as so I became a little confident to go home...

There are some common comments that whoever meet me will spit on my face -"You became so thin!Are you not eating properly?","Are you dieting?","You have become so dark!Are you always out in the sun?"...

Why do people have to worry about all these things about others when they have lots to do in their own life? I don't give a damn care about all these. I know what I need and is happy with what I am...!